What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
