Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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