I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
