She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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