I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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