dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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