Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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