bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Two words: nipple clamps
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