We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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