i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
