My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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