Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
