I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
