New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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