So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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