Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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