Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
