So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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