I must be too annoying 4 u.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
