Grow some girl-balls and come out already
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Still dying that you shit outside
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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