how can u be prego again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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