I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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