I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
