Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
