Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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