I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Randomize
