I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
