yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
