That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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