i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
