i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
