All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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