When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
