Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
did you just send me my own nude
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
