That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
