I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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