I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
