HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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