You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
