She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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