so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
