The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
