She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
