lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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