Already got asked if we're dating
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
