kristin has been a bad kristin
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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