I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
