dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
