there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
