so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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