Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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