There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
