I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is Oprah even human
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