They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
